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Warning: Declaration of M_Fs::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/fs/module.fs.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_Router::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/router/module.router.php on line 0

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Warning: Declaration of M_WordPress_Routing::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/wordpress_routing/module.wordpress_routing.php on line 0

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Warning: Declaration of M_Lzw::define($context = false) should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/lzw/module.lzw.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Settings::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_settings/module.nextgen_settings.php on line 0

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Warning: Declaration of M_Ajax::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/ajax/module.ajax.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_Dynamic_Stylesheet::define($context = false) should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/dynamic_stylesheet/module.dynamic_stylesheet.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_Frame_Communication::define($context = false) should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/frame_communication/module.frame_communication.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_DataMapper::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/datamapper/module.datamapper.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_NggLegacy::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/ngglegacy/module.ngglegacy.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Data::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_data/module.nextgen_data.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_Dynamic_Thumbnails::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/dynamic_thumbnails/module.dynamic_thumbnails.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Admin::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_admin/module.nextgen_admin.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_AddGallery_Page::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_addgallery_page/module.nextgen_addgallery_page.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Pagination::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_pagination/module.nextgen_pagination.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_Gallery_Display::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_gallery_display/module.nextgen_gallery_display.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_Attach_To_Post::define($context = false) should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/attach_to_post/module.attach_to_post.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Other_Options::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_other_options/module.nextgen_other_options.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Pro_Upgrade::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_pro_upgrade/module.nextgen_pro_upgrade.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_MediaRss::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/mediarss/module.mediarss.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_Cache::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/cache/module.cache.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_Lightbox::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/lightbox/module.lightbox.php on line 0

Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Basic_Album::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_basic_album/module.nextgen_basic_album.php on line 0

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Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Basic_Gallery::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_basic_gallery/module.nextgen_basic_gallery.php on line 0

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Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Basic_ImageBrowser::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_basic_imagebrowser/module.nextgen_basic_imagebrowser.php on line 0

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Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Basic_Singlepic::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_basic_singlepic/module.nextgen_basic_singlepic.php on line 0

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Warning: Declaration of M_NextGen_Basic_Tagcloud::define() should be compatible with C_Base_Module::define($id = 'pope-modul...', $name = 'Pope Modul...', $description = '', $version = '', $uri = '', $author = '', $author_uri = '', $context = false) in /var/www/totusindogteenage.dk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/products/photocrati_nextgen/modules/nextgen_basic_tagcloud/module.nextgen_basic_tagcloud.php on line 0

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EN UBEKVEM SANDHED | TOTUSINDOGTEENAGE

EN UBEKVEM SANDHED

kass_sandhed

Et sønderknust hjerte er i virkeligheden den meget ubekvemme sandhed, om hvorfor jeg en dag købte en one way-ticket og forlod min trivielle hverdag. Måske er den ubekvemme sandhed nærmere, at det var det sidste skub til at få eventyr i blodet, og blive helt fri i sindet.

Egentligt kunne det såmænd også bare have været en one way til Billund Lufthavn, men det er der sgu ikke så meget eventyr over, vel?

Lige nu sidder jeg mutters alene på et hotel, i Alicante, med to enkeltmandssenge, og jeg skal kun bruge den ene. Jeg har nærmest havudsigt. Der er i hvert fald en vandpyt i den, engang kliniske hvide, kvadratiske gård. Ikke så meget som en solstråle får kæmpet sig igennem.

Ved siden af mig står et fjernsyn, som ligner mit gamle 90’er gule klodsapparat, som jeg havde på mit barbie tapetseret børneværelse, men fjernsynet er ikke gult og jeg er ikke længere et barn omgivet af barbietapet og bammer (min yndlings og meget slidte bamse, som jeg sov med helt op i teenageårene. Don’t judge, red.). Over skrivebordet er placeret et mellemstort spejl, hvor jeg kan se mit allergiramte, og nu meget junkie lignende fjæs. Min fod sover, og den prikkende fornemmelse, når man skifter position er nu ved at indtræde. ‘‘A Forest’’ af The Cure finder sig langsomt vej ind i mine øregange. Min nyindkøbte cappuccino fra supermarkedet er tom. Jeg bør gå ud og finde en restaurant. Det burde jeg have gjort for en time siden. Der er tankemylder i mit hoved, og i min mave. Der er folk der larmer på gangene og overdøver mit larmende sind. Jeg prøver at finde vej hen til sengen, men bliver distraheret af alt og ingenting.

Historien om mit knuste, knuste hjerte er klassisk, men nu er jeg endnu engang poetisk anlagt og intet i mit liv er bare en klassisk kliché kærlighedshistorie.

Det var en kærlighedshistorie, som ikke skulle være. Et møde mellem to mennesker, som kun skulle have været et møde, og måske var det slet ikke kærlighed. Det finder jeg nok aldrig ud af. Selvom jeg vil gå rigtig langt for de mennesker, som jeg har en plads til i mit hjerte, så må enhver kriger også erkende sit nederlag.

Kærlighed er et stort ord. For hvornår er kærlighed egentligt kærlighed? Sådan rigtigt? For kærlighed kan til tider forveksles med fascination, eller hallucination. Ren indbildning. En kortvarig eller langvarig psykose. Jeg var altså dybt psykotisk. Jeg var forelsket. Et ufatteligt stort ord i mit ordforråd, og noget som kun er sket den ene gang. For jeg har før forvekslet kærlighed med fascination, og selv en fascination kan krampe ens hjerte i dyb smerte. Men om man vil det eller ej, så stopper tiden ikke. Den kan ikke pauses. Tiden læger ikke en skid sår. Oplevelser, forandring og et ændret sind læger sår, og en helvedes masse skrevet poesi.


Kassandra Tosini har netop byttet sin konforme tilværelse på Amager ud med et endnu ukendt eventyr i Spanien. På rejsen vil hun dele sit liv med os en gang om ugen; Hvad går hun og laver? Hvad går hun og tænker på?

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